


Unlucky Number Eight

by aretherenousernamesleft



Category: Misfits (TV 2009), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Nathan Young Being Nathan Young, Nathan Young Being an Asshole, Nathan Young Has Feelings, Nathan Young Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, klaus and nathan are twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24551842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretherenousernamesleft/pseuds/aretherenousernamesleft
Summary: Nathan Hargreeves, Number Eight, is immortal. Back in the day, he was a core part of the Umbrella Academy, but times change. He comes back to the Academy after his father dies, and discovers the Apocalypse is in eight days.Basically, UA but Nathan is there (You don't really need to know Misfits to read this)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	1. Prologue

Prologue  
Excerpt from Extra Ordinary: Life as Number Seven

And then there was Number Eight.  
Over the years, people theorised about the seemingly illogical skip of six to eight. Why was there no seven? Had something happened to the child? There was a seven, though. Me.   
Nathan didn't get the coveted number seven because he was adopted a year after all of us. He actually is Klaus' twin, same birth mother, so we have no idea why it took so long. Luther thought it was because their mother thought she could take care of only one kid, but she was wrong. Five thought it was because Dad actually stole baby Klaus and he found out there were two babies a year later.  
Well, the reason doesn't really matter. He got number eight anyway.  
Nathan was both the golden boy and black sheep of the family. In missions he was perfect, his inmortality and frankly terrifying fighting skills made him better than even Luther. He was always at the forefront of every fight, ready to kick the ass of whatever bad guy they were fighting that week. He never wavered, his public persona was confident, even going as far as cocky sometimes. Still, he was never rude to fans, and in interviews he spoke enough to satisfy but never actuallt stole the spotlight from anyone else.  
At home it was different.   
To be blunt, Nathan was an asshole. He only seemed to care about Klaus, and even then there were moments when we weren't so sure about it. He mouthed off against Reginald every chance he got. He never allowed Mom to help him with anything. He insulted Pogo every time they spoke. If Diego challenged Luther, Nathan outright disturbed him.   
He never spoke to me if he could help it. Unlike with the others, I don't take it seriously. He never said a kind word to anyone that wasn't Klaus, and sometimes Ben in the end. Not speaking to me was a mercy.  
I remember one day, before we got our names, he got in a fight with Reginald. I don't quite know what it was about, but by the time I came down and saw them, they were yelling at each other. No one, not even Five, was dumb enough to get in a screaming match with Dad.   
I didn't see him for a week after that. I think I know why.  
The others all had special individual training. With all the others, I had to speculate what it was. I think Nathan's was pretty obvious. He is inmortal. It took some time for him to come back, but the more he died the less it took. Especially if he had died by that method already.  
He first died when we were six, and it took him 27 hours to come back. By the time of the Academy's debut when we were 11, the time had gone down to 10 minutes.   
I never envied him.  
When Klaus left, he took Nathan with him. The last thing I know about him is that he had been dragged into drugs. It wasn't unexpected, considering who he spends most of his time with.


	2. We only see each other at weddings and funerals (Part 1: Coming back home, fights and shitty brothers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan comes home after the death of his father. He is an asshole and everybody suffers. They dance for a bit, and he has an existential crisis.

Chapter One: We only see each other at weddings and funerals

Nathan "Eight" Hargreeves was hanging around England when he found out his father was dead.  
According to his siblings, he was with Number Four, Klaus, but it had actually been almost ten years since they last saw each other in person. They still talked to each other on the phone sometimes, but they had decided that living in each other's pockets was not as fun as they thought. Both of them were okay with self destruction, but they really loved each other and could not stand to watch their favorite brother throw his life away.  
It was weird. At first, they had no idea how to keep in touch with each other, and they didn't talk for almost two years. It certainly didn't help that Nathan had gotten hit by a very weird bolt of lightning, and had some odd new powers on top of his already odd powers.  
But that was in the past. The brothers had gotten cell phones, and they talked at least once a week, if one of them remembered the date. They had missed their chats more often than not.  
Nathan actually found out about the death of his father via his old community service mate, and friend Simon. The guy had called him late at night, concerned for him.  
There was really no need for concern, as Reginald's death was a cause for celebration in Nathan's mind, but there was a need for money.  
You see, Nathan wasn't exactly liquid. No one wanted to hire a homeless guy that looked 20 at most. Of course, Nathan was 30 already, but no one believed him. So, the ASBO five got together what cash they could spare and sent Nathan on the cheapest flight to America they could find on such short notice, which wasn't cheap at all. 

When he arrived at the house that still haunted his nightmares some especially bad nights, the first person he saw wasn't Klaus, as he wished. It was Vanya.  
"Hey" Vanya went for something like a hug, changing it halfway to a handshake. Nathan didn't take it. "Oh"  
"Yeah, I'm not really into being touched Vanya, you should know this. After all, you know everything about us, don't you?" Nathan honestly had no idea where the resentment had come from. He thought he had dealt with the book quite well, even if it did air out all his issues, and expose his past to his friends, who up to that point thought his last name was Young, and that he had gotten all of his powers because of The Storm.  
"Is this about the book?" Her voice was meek, but not quite remorseful. It made his temper flare uncomfortably.  
"Yes it's about the book! What were you thinking?!"  
Vanya looked like she wasn't quite sure how to answer, but she was saved by Allison coming down the stairs.  
"I thought I heard people talking." She said "Hi Vanya, Nathan"  
The girls hugged. When Allison went to do the same with Nathan, she was interrupted "He doesn't like being touched"  
"Oh"  
To Nathan, it seemed every time the conversation hit an awkward pause, a new sibling came down  
"What is she doing here?"  
"Hi Diego!" Nathan plastered a cheery grin that he knew annoyed the knife obsessed man to no end.  
"Ugh, hi Nathan. Your less annoying half is hanging around Dad's study, probably stealing something"  
"In that case, I shall take my leave. Toodles"  
Walking through the familiar halls of the Academy, Nathan was reminded of why he left. The walls were plastered with pictures of fight moves, all low, so kids might see them. Sounds were somehow muffled and amplified at the same time. He could only hear his breathing, but it was so loud.  
He tried to ignore the security cameras in every corner. Those cameras had ruled his life for years. He could never do what he wanted because they were always watching. When he finally left, he and Klaus had to analyze how often Reginald looked at the recordings for almost a month.  
Getting to the study took both more and less than he expected. Time was weird inside the academy.  
He didn't see anyone and sighed. He missed Klaus. Once a week calls (if they remembered) were not enough. He hadn't seen his twin's face in years. His voice had always been distorted by the phone.  
"I hate this" He whispered to himself.  
Instantly, there was a flurry of movement under the desk. He tensed, ready for a fight, but it was unnecessary, because out from under the desk came a familiar face.  
"Klaus!"  
The other man looked startled for a second, before he realized who had spoken  
"Nathan!"  
If they were normal brothers, not having seen each other for ten years, they would have hugged. They were not normal brothers. They just waved to each other, making no move to get closer.  
Nathan had no idea what to say. Not for the first time, he cursed his inability to say anything less than horribly mean. But luckily, and it really was getting weird, Allison entered.  
"Allison!" Klaus exclaimed "Wow, is that you?" They embraced "Long time! Too long. I was actually hoping to see you. I wanted to get your autograph, add it to my collection"  
Nathan snorted "What other autographs do you have? Your collection would be the shittiest in the world. Just a hundred Allison Hargreeves signatures and nothing else"  
"Oh piss off"  
"Yeah, sure." He noticed a familiar wristband in his brother's wrist "You didn't tell me you went to rehab"  
"Oh no no no, I'm done with all that" Allison looked doubtful, and Nathan snorted. "I just came down here to prove to myself that the old man is really dead"  
"Well, he is. Yay! Congratulations, you outlived the Devil! Huh, that's a good plot for a movie, Allison. Two brothers make a deal with the Devil. If they die first, their souls are taken to hell for all eternity. If the Devil dies, they get his throne. They band together to kill the guy. Then the movie is just the bros trying to kill an immortal guy with increasingly hilarious methods"  
Allison snorted "I have no idea where you get this stuff"  
"Get out of his chair" A new voice interceded  
It was a... weirdly big Luther. Yeah, they hadn't seen each other in like 13 years, but surely the guy couldn't get this enormous without some steroids or something.  
Nathan whistled "Holy shit Luther, you really filled out over the years. What the hell man, what was Dad feeding you?"  
"Probably a dozen raw eggs a day" Klaus snorted  
"Klaus" Luther warned  
"Save the lecture, I was just leaving. You guys can talk amongst yourselves"  
He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder  
"Drop it"  
"Excueeze me?"  
"Do it. Now"  
Nathan rolled his eyes "Man, fuck off. Who cares if he stole a few fucking trinkets, it's not as if you were going to use a..."  
"A tiny gold cup" Klaus took said cup from his pockets. It was really tiny  
"A tiny gold cup! Besides, it was just an advance in our inheritance! Or did you forget, one eight of everything is Klaus' and one eight is mine?" He got really close to Luther, trying to look intimidating. He thought looking like a scrawny 20 year old wouldn't do the job, but Luther looked unsettled "It's not as if Reggie is gonna use this shit from beyond the grave" He decided to quit while he was ahead and turned to his twin "Let's go Klaus. And take that dumb tiny cup with you."  
They were barely out of the door when they started giggling.  
"I forgot how scared Luther was of you!" Klaus exclaimed, taking out all the other stuff he had hidden.  
"Yeah, I thought he would have gotten over it by now" Nathan snorted "Come on, let's dump all that shit in my old room, we can sell it later."  
Ten minutes later, they were raiding the bar downstairs, which just so happened to be next to the living room where the other siblings were  
"Um... I guess we should get this started" Luther tentatively said "So I figured we will have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words at Dad's favorite spot."  
"Dad had a favorite spot?" Asked Allison  
"Under the oak tree. The asshole used to tell me stories there" Nathan chipped out from the bar as they joined the rest of the group  
"Will there be refreshments?" Klaus sat down with a couple of cups full of alcohol "Tea? Scones?"  
"It's pronounced scones, dum dum"  
"Well, I'm sorry, not everyone has been living in England for the past ten years"  
"Shut up you wanker"  
They started to giggle  
"Guys, can we get back on track?" Luther interjected "And Klaus, put that out, you know Dad didn't allow smoking in here"  
"Hey, aren't you gonna tell Nathan to put out his cigarette too? This is unfair, discrimination! Hemophobia!"  
"Klaus, buddy, you know One is scared of me" Nathan smirked sharply, an expression which used to disturb Luther to no end when they were kids.  
"No, he's right. Nathan put that out"  
Before a fight broke out, Allison exclaimed "Is that my skirt?"  
"What? Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room. It's a little dated, I know, but it's very breathy on the bits"  
"Listen up" Nathan rolled his eyes at Luther's 'Leader Tone' " There's still some important things that we need to discuss, all right?"  
"Like what?" Diego asked  
"Like the way he died" They groaned, most internally, some very audibly  
"I don't understand, I thought they said it was a heart attack"  
"Yeah, according to the coroner"  
"What you forget, dear sister, is that if Dad's death is simply a heart attack, it means Luther here has nothing more to do. Ever. So he pretends it was a mysterious murder so he can stretch his purpose in life just a teensy bit more."  
"I'm just saying, the last time I talked to dad he sounded strange. On edge. He told me to be careful who to trust" He gave a very pointed look to Nathan, who ignored it by chugging the entire contents of a goblet full of... something. He wasn't sure what, but it was quite strong.  
"Luther" Started Diego "He was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles"  
"No, he must have known something was going to happen. Look" He turned to Klaus, and Nathan immediately startled into paying attention "I need you to call dad in the afterlife"  
"That's not how it works. You can't just call the guy unless he wants to be called. And even if he wanted, Klaus is high. His powers don't work when he's high."  
"And I suppose you know all about how his powers work, huh, Eight?"  
"Certainly more than you."  
"Well, there's also the issue of Dad's missing monocle"  
"Who gives a shit about a stupid monocle?" Diego interrupted  
"Exactly. It's worthless. So whoever took it, I think it was personal" A rough idea of what Luther was trying to say started forming in Nathan's mind "Someone close to him, someone with a grudge"  
"Where are you going with this?" Klaus questioned  
"Oh, isn't it obvious, Klaus?" Diego was looking at Luther, angry "He thinks one of us killed Dad"  
They all waited for Luther to argue. He didn't.  
"HA! If I managed to off the asshole I would be bragging about it for everyone to hear!" Nathan laughed somewhat hysterically  
"How could you think that?" Vanya was looking betrayed.  
"Great job Luther, way to lead" Diego left the room, followed by Klaus and Vanya, both looking offended  
"Allison... jeez" The woman could be really cold when she wanted to, Nathan would give her that.  
Soon there was only the two of them left  
"You can't honestly think one of us did it, do you?"  
"I don't know Nathan. It all adds up. He never went anywhere without his monocle. And the circumstances of his death are suspicious at least."  
Nathan sighed and stood up "And what would you do if it turns out one of us did it? Would you blame them? The man was... Well, not exactly the warmest parent around. Even to you, his favorite."  
"I was never his favorite, if anything, that was you."  
Nathan snorted "Yeah, right. He hated me as much as he could hate anyone with his stupid robot heart." He started to leave "Think about it Luther. Did he ever do anything kind, genuinely kind, for you?"

Nathan didn't know what he expected. He guessed he hoped Luther had gotten out in the end, even if it seemed like he never would.  
Contrary to what Vanya's stupid book had said, he actually cared about his family. Sure, he probably wasn't the best at showing it, but really, who was? A normal person often had trouble expressing themselves, and that is without counting the emotionally crippling childhood, and his very traumatic experiences, even after the Academy. It was a miracle he was okayish enough to even step foot in the academy without spiraling into a panic attack!  
And don't even get him started on the ghosts.  
When he was a child, his one and only power was immortality. He came back to life after dying. Simple. Straightforward. But after the storm, that cursed storm, he was suddenly able to see something he couldn't before.  
He really didn't blame Klaus for turning to drugs. After all, that's exactly what he did.  
One would think the worst part about the ghosts is the gore, but you get used to it pretty fast. The worst part is the yelling. The accusations. The pleas for help. Any usefulness that power might have was severely overshadowed by the screams.  
And the touching.  
If he was ever sober again, he might just shoot himself to make them stop. It's not like it would stick anyways.  
He hadn't realized he was in his old room until the music started to sound through the walls. Tiffany.  
He grinned.  
He honestly preferred something more punk, or alternative, but that song had such a nostalgic feeling. And for once, a good nostalgia.  
Music was one thing Reginald never had a problem with. According to that thrice forsaken book, the violin was the only good thing dad had done for Vanya. He had bought Luther a record player, and any record he wanted to go with it. He never minded noise as long as it was music.  
He started dancing, just like when he was a child and they all had stupid little dance parties in Luther's room. He wondered if his siblings were doing the same, wherever they were in the house. He imagined Luther, as big and awkward as he was now, dancing in a tiny cramped room. Diego always had the best dance moves, Allison being a close second. Klaus was probably doing some ridiculous dace. Five...  
Five was gone. So was Ben. Vanya hated the whole family, and Nathan... well, he was there. Unchanging. As always.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is short and bad, but I wanted to get to the part where things change from the show

Before Nathan could spiral into less than pleasant thoughts, he heard weird noises from outside. When he went to check it out, there was a big blue ball of... shit floating in the middle of the courtyard  
"Get behind me" Luther put up his huge arm  
"Yeah, get behind us" Nathan rolled his eyes at Diego's constant undermining of Luther. Really, it was getting old.  
"What the fuck is this shit?" Nathan asked  
"It's either a black hole or a temporal anomaly"  
"Pretty big difference there big guy"  
A fire extinguisher flew past them, disappearing harmlessly on the black hole/temporal anomaly/whatever.  
"Bro, you know I love you, but what the fuck?"  
Klaus was saved from trying to respond by an old man appearing in the thing. His form flickered, leaving behind a familiar face.  
The temporal anomaly dispersed. The body fell to the ground.  
Silence  
"Hey, does anyone else see little Number Five?'  
Five looked down at himself and his too big suit "Shit"

A few minutes later, they were all piled up on the kitchen, staring at Five as if he was going to vanish, which to be fair wouldn't be entirely out of character for the little shit.  
"What's the date?" No one answered, still in shock "The exact date?"  
"The 24th" Vanya piped up  
"Of what?"  
"March"  
"Good"  
What the fuck? What the ever-loving fuck? Five was back? He looked thirteen? He didn't act thirteen?  
If anyone asked, Nathan was not spiraling.  
"So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?"  
The little shit was making himself a sandwich? He was back after 17, seventeen, SEVENTEEN years and he was making himself a fucking fluffernutter sandwich?  
"Its been 17 years!" Nathan's voice came out higher than he expected.  
Maybe he was spiraling a bit  
Five scoffed "It's been a lot longer than that"  
"Where did you go?"  
"The future." Five jumped to grab the marshmallows on the other side of the room. Not a shapeshifter then. The real Five "It's shit by the way"  
"Called it" Klaus exclaimed  
"I should have listened to the old man" He opened the fridge "You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time... it's a toss of the dice"  
"Not really" Everyone was looking at Nathan. He slid off the table and swung an arm across Five's shoulders. Solid, real, not ghostly shoulders "I had a friend who could rewind time. But he could never control it. Well, he's still alive. So, can rewind time I guess"  
"I did not miss your ramblings"  
"I did not miss your attitude. Hey, if the future's shit, am I still there or have I found a way to die?"  
Five frowned "I never found you or your body."  
"Wait" Vanya interrupted "How did you get back?"  
"In the end I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time"  
"That makes no sense"  
Nathan went back to the table, sitting across from Vanya  
"Well, it would if you were smarter"  
Luther had to restrain Diego to keep him from jumping at the kid "How long were you there?"  
"Forty-five years, give or take"  
Nathan frowned "And in all that time you never found me? Or my corpse"  
Five continued as if he hadn't spoken "My consciousness is 58. Apparently my body is 13 again." He turned around and took a bite of his sandwich "Dolores kept saying the equations were off. Bet she's laughing now"  
"Who's Dolores?"  
"Guess I missed the funeral"  
"How'd you know about that?"  
Nathan rolled his eyes "Hey asshole, the kid is from the future. Stop trying to make Dad's death a murder mystery and grow the fuck up"  
"Nice to see nothing's changed" And with that, Five left  
"That's it?" Allison questioned "That's all you have to say?"  
"What else is there to say? Circle of life"  
He was gone. For a second, panic gripped Nathan. What if he never came back? Had it all been a hallucination? Was it a ghost, like Ben?  
He hurried after the kid  
"Five, wait!" But he had jumped already. Five was gone.

Half an hour later, after the sky had turned black and started pouring, they were standing in the courtyard. Everyone except Diego had an umbrella. Klaus' was tiny and pink. Nathan's had so many holes in it, it wasn't functional anymore. He still had it open and over his head.  
Thunder rumbled.  
"Did something happen?" Mom asked  
"Dad died, remember?"  
Was Mom's system failing? Without kids she had no purpose in the house, when was the last time Reginald had given her a checkup? Why was she even still in the house at all?  
"Whenever you're ready, dear boy"  
Luther was the one to spread the ashes. No one else challenged that decision. He was, after all, the only one who still loved Dad, and was loyal to him.  
Something uncomfortable twinged in his chest seeing the sad pile of ashes on the floor  
"Probably woulda been better with some wind" Nathan grinned  
"Does anyone wish to speak?"  
A beat  
"I do" Nathan called out "Dad was the absolute worst. I will never forgive him for all the things he did to us."  
"Nathan" Luther warned  
"The guy was a monster!" Diego interrupted "My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father didn't bother to give us actual names. He had Mom do it."  
"Would anyone like something to eat?" Something was definitely wrong with Grace.  
And then things escalated. After a few pointed words from Diego, they started to fight each other.  
Five left.  
Luther broke Ben's statue.  
Diego threw a knife at Luther.  
"You never know when to stop do you?"  
Soon enough, only Nathan and Klaus were left.  
Silence.  
For the first time, Nathan didn't know what to say.  
"I'm sorry" Klaus said "I know you didn't hate him as much as you pretend to"  
"You don't know that" Nathan snapped  
"Look, you may act like an emotionless asshole, but I know you. I know you kept in contact with him, even after we left."  
Nathan curled up in a ball. "I just... I couldn't leave him alone. He was the worst, but he raised us, you know? I'm allowed to have complicated feeling about him."

He refused to stay at the academy. When he had left, he promised to himself he would never again set foot in it. He drew the line at sleeping in his old room.  
"Vanya, wait!" He called as the woman was leaving the foyer  
"What do you need Nathan?"  
This wasn't going to work, she hated him! She thought he was an asshole, her least favorite sibling  
"Can I crash at your place? Just for a few days!" He was quick to add "I leave for England in two days, just until then"  
She thought for a few seconds and sighed "Sure, come on"

A few hours later, he saw Five enter through the window. "Hey Five"  
The kid turned to him, startled "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
Nathan shrugged "I needed somewhere to crash while I'm in the States, and I refuse to sleep in the Academy. I would rather sleep on the streets. Which I did for a while. It's not that bad, all things considered"  
"Oh"  
An awkward silence  
"Why are you here Five?"  
The boy sat down, looking small. He had never looked so small, not even after Nathan's first death, before they found out he was immortal. Five shouldn't look so small.  
"I was hoping I could talk to Vanya. Is she here?"  
Nathan shook his head. "She's at rehearsal. She'll be back at nine, if you want to wait."  
Five hummed in agreement  
"Would you like some coffee?" Nathan stood up, suddenly uncomfortable "I would like some coffee. I have no idea where Vanya keeps it, but I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere" He saw a flicker out of the corner of his eye "Son of a fucking bitch, I'm already coming down?" Without really caring about his brother's presence, he downed a little pill that was in his pocket  
"Why do you take drugs? Klaus I understand, ghosts suck. But you don't see shit" Five looked more like a predator than a concerned brother "So why?"  
"I don't see shit my ass." He put some water in the coffee machine, hoping it was the right amount for the grounds he used "Vanya's book doesn't know shit. A few years ago, I was hit by some freak lightning. It gave everyone else hit by it powers. It kicked my immortality into high gear, that's why I still look 20, and made me able to see the dead as well. And believe me, it sucks. I have no idea how Klaus dealt with it when he was a kid." He got the feeling Five had no idea what to say "Where did you go, when you time travelled?" He changed the subject.  
"The future" At Nathan's expecting look, he elaborated "The Apocalypse. There was nothing left. Everything was dead"  
"Everything?"  
Five sighed, knowing what he meant "I didn't find your corpse. I didn't find you. 45 years, and I have no idea whether you survived."  
Nathan's mind raced with the possibilities. Was he dead? If so, how? If he was alive, where was he?  
A horrible thought crossed his mind. What if he was trapped under something, crushed to death, doomed to die and come back to life eternally, only to die painfully every time  
"How long do we have?"  
"The world ends in eight days. And I have no idea how to stop it."  
"I'll cancel my flight then"


	4. Run Boy Run or Nathan and Klaus are absolutely insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nathan is a bit nicer than in Misfits. It's on purpose, he mellowed out over the years. Also, Kelly was a good influence

Episode 2: run boy run   
Nathan had a lot of questions. Five had spent 45 years in the apocalypse? How did that work? What did he eat? How come loneliness hadn't drove him insane?   
So, he asked those questions "You spent 45 years in the apocalypse? How does that work? What did you eat? How come loneliness didn't drive you insane?" 

"Yes, I did, time travel, cockroaches mostly, and I had Dolores" 

"I have no idea who that is. Is it your girlfriend?" 

"My wife actually" 

A moment of silence while Nathan took in the information "I don't know what to say" 

"You don't believe me" Five sounded so defeated, it should be illegal to sound so sad 

"I do actually. Don't tell One I said this, but I'm pretty sure Dad... well, I think he might have killed himself." 

"How do you know?" Wow. the kid actually looked surprised. That was first 

"I talked to him a few times over the years. He was an asshole, but he stayed with me when he killed me, and sometimes if it was especially painful, he gave me the day off after. I guess I'm pretty messed up because that was enough to make me care about him enough to call him and check in once in a while. The last time we spoke was a few days before his death. He asked me what was the least painful death." Nathan took a shaky breath, suddenly about to cry "He sounded scared." 

"What did you tell him?" 

"Poison. Fast acting, one that doesn't induce seizures. There was one that just... made you fall asleep. Unlike most poisons, it didn't make you cold. Nor it made you burn. It was just... a pleasant warmth in your chest" 

He remembered that day like it was yesterday. He was fourteen. He had been trying to comfort Klaus after a night in the mausoleum, breaking the curfew in the process. Reginald had found him, and immediately dragged him down to the room where he conducted his experiments. He was injected with something, and started falling asleep. Reginald hadn't said a word. 

"We should check the toxicology report for it" 

"Didn't you hear One ranting about it? They ruled it as a heart attack, so there was no need for a full autopsy and blood test." 

Silence. The doorknob jiggled. Vanya was home 

She opened the door "Five? What are you doing here?" 

Nathan and Five had a silent conversation 

_I'm gonna tell her_

_Don't you dare_

_I'll do it_

_It's a bad idea_

_I'm doing it_

"I'm here to tell you about the apocalypse. The world ends in eight days, and I have no idea how to stop it" 

"I'll put on a pot of coffee" 

"Done. Five, did you rehearse that line or something?" He stood up and served the coffee in some glasses he had found while rifling about the cupboards. It was barely enough for three glasses. He put a little bit more in Five's glass. 

The boy scowled "Shut up" 

So, they told her about the end of times, about Five surviving on scraps, about Dolores. They didn't tell her about Reginald's possible suicide. It wasn't the time. Besides, they didn't have any proof. Not unless he wanted to tell Vanya about his conversations with the man. And that was the last thing he wanted; it would probably show up in a book a few years down the line. 

Nathan could see she didn't believe them 

"Oh my god, you think he's crazy, don't you?" 

"No, I do! It's just a lot to take in" She was lying 

"Exactly what don't you understand?" Five's grin was too big, too forced. Nathan might not be the best at reading normal people, but he knew his siblings like the back of his hand, even after all those years. Five was hurt by her reaction. Vanya had always been his favorite. 

"Why didn't you just travel back?" 

"Jee, wish I'd thought of that." He scoffed "Time travel is a crapshoot. I went into the ice and never acorned" 

Nathan tried to hold in a snort "Acorned? What the fuck kind of metaphor is that?" 

"The day Five... left, Dad compared time travel to going under the ice at a lake and coming out an acorn" 

"Oh" Nathan hadn't been there the day Five ran away. He had been sleeping off a decapitation, and when he asked about what happened, no one would tell him. He got most of his information that day from Vanya's book, but it had never mentioned the acorn 

"If you grew old in the apocalypse, how come you still look like a kid" 

Nathan coughed to get their attention "I have a friend who can kinda time travel, he says only his consciousness can jump around. Maybe when you left and saw what was to come, the timeline split off and when you tried to come back, it could only handle matter from this specific timeline, which is not the apocalypse timeline anymore, so it gave you something it knew?" They stared at him for a second, and he blushed "Or maybe you just fucked up some equation." 

"I don't know. I'll have to do more research on the subject, but it could be" 

"Dad used to say that time travel could contaminate the mind" 

"Vanya, I believe him. Even if you don't, we have eight days. Can you really waste time checking whether he's insane or not? With our luck, it's probably true. I know you never came on missions and stuff, but you must know how crazy stuff gets sometimes" 

Vanya shook her head "Right. Of course" She still didn't believe them "Look, it's late. I have lessons early and I need to sleep. I'm sure you two are tired too. Here, Five you can sleep on the couch and Nathan..." She trailed off, unsure 

"I'll have the floor. Just get me a blanket so I don't freeze my beautiful buttcheeks off at night" 

"Right. We'll talk in the morning again, I promise. Night" 

And so, she got in her room and closed the door. 

"She doesn't believe me" Five started pacing like a caged tiger 

"No, she doesn't." Nathan sighed. "You know I do, don't you?" 

But Five was distracted taking something out of his pocket 

"Five?" 

"What? Oh, yeah sure." He started going to the door 

"Five, what's wrong?" 

"I just need to..." He trailed off. Nathan saw the spark of determination in his brother's eyes and knew that whatever he was about to do, he couldn't stop him 

"I'm coming with you" 

For a second, Five looked at him in something close to awe "... Thanks" 

A few hours later, and after hotwiring a van, Five and Nathan were inside a company that sold prosthetic limbs 

"Five, what are we doing here?" Nathan whispered to his brother 

"This eye is my only clue as to who causes the apocalypse" And without further ado, he strolled up to the receptionist's desk "I need to know who this belongs to" He slammed the eye into the desk just a tad too strongly 

"Oh, and how did you get that?" 

As Five dealt with the receptionist, Nathan let his mind wonder. He missed his friends, not that he would ever admit it. He hadn't eaten since he left England and sure, he didn't need to, but man, he would kill for a few of Kelly's chicken nuggets. 

Next thing he knew, Five had grabbed some guy by the lapels of his lab coat and was threatening him. 

They were kicked out after that. 

Obviously.   
....   
A while later, they were in Five's room when Klaus dropped by 

"Nathan, my favorite brother! And Five, my favorite old man! What are you two doing here, being all secretive and stuff?" 

"Oh, we're just trying to find out who this eye belongs to so that Five can kill them but apparently the company that makes them can't tell us whose it is" 

Klaus draped himself dramatically over the bed "Sounds to me like you need an adult" 

Five scowled "We are both adults" 

"Neither of you looks like one" 

And so, they devised a plan. 

Until Vanya came along. 

"Hide!" Before they could ask why, Klaus and Nathan were squashed inside the closet. 

"Move" Klaus whispered 

"I can't. Now shut up" 

They heard Vanya come in and try to get Five to see a therapist. It was really awkward, but Five was a pretty good actor. No one got acting skills like that growing up in complete isolation. When she left, they opened the door and clattered to the floor 

"Air! Fresh air from the heavens, oh how I missed you!" 

"Shut up, or she'll hear you." He looked at them, seemingly only now noticing their clothes "I thought I told you clowns to put on something professional" 

"But this is my nicest outfit!" 

"What's wrong with these clothes?" 

Klaus was wearing some skintight leather trousers, and a weird green shirt. 

Nathan was pretty sure he looked the picture of professionalism. He was, after all, wearing one of Grace's dresses. With platform boots covered in studs. 

Five sighed "We'll raid the old man's closet" 

"Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details, I just gotta get into this place and pretend to be your dear old dad, right?" 

"Yeah, something like that" 

"Cool, so what's our cover story? Was I really young when I had you? Like 16? Young and innocent? Your mother, that whore, she left me to take care of you and my precious little brother" He swung an arm over Nathan's shoulders, who froze like a deer caught in the headlights "after our parents died?" 

"Klaus?" Nathan hated how little his voice sounded "Could you let go of me?" 

Immediately, the arm left his shoulders and he could breathe again 

"We met at... a disco! Remember that! Oh my god, the sex was amazing..." 

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain" 

"Hey, don't make me put you in time out!"   
.....   
"As I told your son, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent we simply can't help you" 

Nathan was about to kill a man. The guy was the worst, he was condescending, holier than thou, and frankly a bit of an asshole. But he was kinda worried about Klaus, who was staring off into space and had been for the last ten minutes. 

A shadow crossed the corner of his vision. 

That explained the spacing out then. 

"We can't get consent if you don't give us a name" Five looked as close to murder as Nathan felt 

"Well, that's not my problem. Now excuse me, there's nothing else I can-" 

"But what about my consent?" Klaus got a look in his eyes he always had when he was about to do something really stupid "Who gave you permission to lay your hands on my son?" 

This was going to be fun. In anticipation, Nathan slowly grabbed a pen from the desk 

"What?" It seems no one else had caught up to the plan 

"You heard me." 

"I didn't touch your son" 

"Oh really?" Nathan moved to cover the receptionist's view of the office "How did he get that swollen lip then?" 

"He doesn't have a swollen-" 

But he couldn't finish because Klaus had punched Five. 

"I want it. Name, please. Now." 

It didn't work, so Nathan decided to escalate the situation. 

He stabbed the pen into his hand 

"Hey, what did I do to you? I was just sitting there!" 

"You are both crazy! I'm calling security" 

"Peace on earth, that's so sweet" Oh boy, that was a very bad idea. Klaus had no regeneration powers whatsoever, and he had just broken a snow globe over his head   
Nathan grabbed the phone out of the guy's hand "Someone help, your boss just snapped and attacked me and my family! Please, send someone up as fast as possible!"   
He slammed the phone down. 

"Now, here's what's gonna happen. The two security guards are gonna come in here and see three very hurt people and one unharmed man. We are going to tell them that my nephew over here was being a bit annoying, but harmless, as teens are, and you just... snapped."   
The man, who he still didn't know the name of, paled "You are probably going to prison for assault, and believe me, you wouldn't survive a day there. So, what's it gonna be? Name, or jail?" 

By the end of his little speech, Nathan's face was less than an inch away from the guy's. 

"Name" 

"Thank you" He kissed the guy's nose and leapt back "Five, he's all yours. I'm gonna convince the guards that nothing happened"   
...   
They met up at the door, and by Five's face, something had gone wrong 

"What happened? Do I need to go in there again and beat someone up? Because I'll do it, you know I will" 

"The eye is useless" 

"What, why?" 

Five sat down on the steps, defeated "It hasn't been manufactured yet. It's a dead end" 

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any cash on you, would you?" Klaus piped up 

"The apocalypse is coming and all you can think of is getting high?" 

Nathan pat his pockets "I think I have some pills. Want one?" He offered a little baggie out 

Klaus snatched it "Yeah, I do, but I'm also quite hungry, you know. Tummy's a-rumblin' " 

"You are both useless!" Five exclaimed. He stared to leave 

"Five, don't be such a sourpuss, it'll be fine! We still have seven days! Take advantage of that, go find your future wife or whatever. Relax... Here, have some weed!" 

The boy looked at the bag in disgust "I can't believe I asked you two for something" And with that, he vanished 

"Come on Klaus, let's go bother Diego until he buys us dinner" 

They couldn't find Diego, so they went back to the academy, where they found Allison and Luther looking worried and walking fast 

"Allison, Luther, what's up my bro and sis?" 

"Luther was right about Dad's death. Come on, you gotta see this" 

Luther looked uncomfortable "Should they really be coming along?" 

"One, I know you like to pretend otherwise, but believe it or not, I'm part of this group of assholes who call ourselves a family, and if there's some new information about Dad's death, I should know as well" 

"Yeah, what he said" 

A few seconds later, they came across Five, who was looking kind of sick 

"Five, what happened after we left man?" 

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Luther tried touching Five's shoulder, but was blocked 

"There's nothing you can do" He sounded sad. 

Something flashed through Nathan's mind. Ash, fire, rubble. The corpses of his family. Five, tiny, crying. Pain. 

He came back to his siblings looking at him worried. 

Something wet was on his face. Tears. 

The only thing he could do was push everyone away weakly and hug Five "You little liar"   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to somewhat humanize Reginald, while keeping him an asshole. I'm not sure if I did it, but oh well.  
> If you had a kid you talked to sometimes and who had been through every possible death, and you had to kill yourself, you would ask him about it. Even if you had to be super secretive.


	5. Extra ordinary or Nathan dies for real and Luther is the worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for a temporal character death. But it's Nathan so what did you expect.  
> Also, things are starting to change, a lot.

When the book came out, Nathan had been living in Kelly’s couch.   
He found out about it when Simon called all of them, and got them to meet in a pub  
“Nathan, this is huge.” He started. “You should have told us you were a superhero”  
“What the fuck are you talking about Barry?” Nathan laughed nervously. There was no way he had been connected to Number Eight, not after all those years  
“I read Vanya’s book, you know? I know you were in the Umbrella Academy”   
The others exploded with questions, but Nathan was busy having the first panic attack in two years, so he didn’t hear them   
After they saw how affected he was by it, they stopped asking questions. Well, for a while. There was no way Simon wouldn’t annoy him to death over the fact that he had been a real-life superhero and made fun of him for wanting to be one. Supposedly that was hypocritical of him. Whatever.  
Not many things changed, other than the group following his ideas sometimes, seeing as he actually knew what he was talking about.   
One other thing did change. Sometimes, he walked in on the group talking about him, only to shut up when they noticed him.   
A few months after the book, he left Kelly’s house for good.  
They grew apart. Not much, he was still closer to them than he had ever been to anyone, but there was a division now between them.   
He supposed one of the things that had connected them, getting powers out of nowhere, was gone now.   
He spent his 24th birthday alone.   
The day after that, he got a call from Kelly, apologizing for forgetting about it.  
It seemed like that was it, the end of their friendship.   
It wasn’t, but that is a story for another time

“Play it again” Luther growled at the screen, where Grace was ignoring Reginald  
“You watched it over and over, it’s the same every time”   
“What does it mean? The tea, did she poison him?”   
Luther looked so lost. He had been hoping for a mystery, but once he got it, he regretted it.   
Nathan sighed “I don’t think mom poisoned him” They all turned to him “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this, but a few days before he died, Dad called me.”  
“Wait, you spoke with Dad? What did he say?” Luther grabbed him by the shoulders, momentarily forgetting about his fear of Nathan  
“He… he asked me what the least painful way to die was. I thought maybe he was finally realizing what he had done to me, I never imagined he would… do that”  
“Do what? Nathan, what are you talking about?” He was squeezing rather painfully now  
Allison put a calming hand on his shoulder, and the squeezing loosened a little “Nathan is saying Dad might have killed himself”  
Before he knew what was happening, Nathan was being slammed against the wall, knocking the breath out of him. He saw Klaus and Allison grabbing at Luther’s arms, trying to get him to let go  
“Dad wouldn’t do that! You are lying!”  
Nathan tried to stay calm, but he felt the adrenaline flowing through his veins “Face it! He killed himself! It’s the only explanation! He must have fucked with Mom’s programming, that’s why she’s been acting weird. I know you like to think Dad was this perfect being, but he was a bitter, crazy, old man who was too proud to admit he had feelings!”  
It was getting hard to breathe  
“Liar! You probably killed him yourself!” Dark spots danced across his vision “You hated him and wanted the inheritance!” There was a Crack!, and Nathan felt a burning pain on his throat.   
Everything went dark.

He woke up in a forest. Everything was black and white. Before he could wonder what was going on, a bike bell snapped him out of his thoughts  
“It’s been a while” A little girl in a sun hat, riding the bike he had heard, suddenly appeared next to him. She was also in black and white  
“Who are you?” Everything was kind of fuzzy, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew the girl somehow  
“You know who I am” She spoke surely  
“God”  
“In a way. Hello again Nathan.”  
Nathan really should be freaking out more, but there seemed to be a filter between him and his emotions, leaving him strangely numb “I was high, wasn’t I? When I died.”  
“You were”  
“My powers don’t work when I’m high. This is it then” Luther had killed him. Forever this time.  
“Not exactly. Yes, you should be dead forever, but if you are, I’ll have a lot of paperwork to do in a few days. And I really don’t want to.”  
Nathan sighed “So I’m not dead then?”  
“Oh, you are. But it won’t stick.”  
He sat down in the ground, deflating. “Will it ever? Stick, I mean”  
The girl shrugged “I haven’t decided yet.” She looked off into the distance, seemingly listening to something only she could hear “He’s waiting for you”  
“Dad?”  
She said nothing.  
Sighing, he stood up and brushed the nonexistent dirt from his pants “I’m ready”  
He blinked and found himself in a barber shop. There was no one there.  
“Oh” He sat in one of the chairs, and was startled when a hand touched his shoulder   
“I expected my son who can conjure the dead to have brought me forth days ago” Reginald didn’t look in his eyes and started preparing the things for a shave he didn’t need  
“Why would you kill yourself?” The man paused  
“I believed it was the only wat to get all of you together in one place once again”  
“You could have called”  
“Would you have answered?”  
“I would have. You know that”  
“What about the others then? Would Klaus answer my call? Would Vanya?”  
A beat  
“You… called them by their names” No answer “I didn’t think you even knew them.”  
“It was the only way.” Reginald said as he slathered Nathan’s face with shaving cream “Something big is coming, and the academy needed to be ready”  
“It wasn’t the only way, and you know it. You were a master of manipulation; you think you couldn’t find some way to make them come other than your death?”  
“I briefly entertained the idea of Pogo’s death” In that second, Nathan saw something he had never seen in his father’s face. An inkling of regret.  
“Why didn’t you kill him then?”  
“He… He is my friend”  
Oh   
“I… never realized”  
“What?”  
“That you are a person.” The shave was over, so Nathan stood up “For the longest time, you were just a tormentor, and then a lonely old man. I could never reconcile the man who killed me in cold blood and the one who would call just to talk.”  
“You needed to be ready” Reginald said, not looking at him, pretending to fiddle with something in the table  
“We were children. Just little kids” Nathan pleaded “How could you?”  
“Nathan-“  
“My name is Number Eight! You didn’t even give us names!” He went to grab Reginald’s arm, but as soon as he touched it, everything turned white.

He woke up with a gasp  
No one noticed, mostly because Klaus was screaming at Luther  
“HIS POWERS DON’T WORK WHEN HE’S HIGH, YOU ASSHOLE!”   
Luther, in the meantime, was pale and almost catatonic. Allison was crying silently.  
“I didn’t mean to” Luther’s voice was barely a whisper  
“IT’S NOT A FUCKING EXCUSE! EVEN IF HE WAS IMMORTAL, YOU SHOULDN’T HURT HIM AT ALL, MUCH LESS ENOUGH TO KILL-“Klaus’s voice trailed off “ To kill him. Oh god”  
“Good to know you care” Nathan decided it was time to intervene, before Klaus started crying. Klaus crying was the saddest thing he had seen. He looked like a kicked puppy.  
“NATHAN!” Before he could blink, he found himself being crushed by Klaus and Allison  
“Hey, it’s alright.” He felt something dampening his shirt “Hey, don’t cry. I’m fine. Not dead, see?” He gestured toward himself  
“I thought your powers didn’t work when you are high” Allison peeled herself off him, composing herself brilliantly “Are you sober then?”  
“God, I hope not” He turned to Luther, who was staring at him in shock “I spoke with Dad. I’m sorry. He thought it was the only way to get us all together”  
“I- How-“   
“Luther, you killed me while I was high. I died. For real. I went to the afterlife.”  
He saw a shudder going through his brother, but he didn’t feel guilty. Luther had killed him.  
Oh god, Luther killed him.   
“I think I’m gonna throw up” He stood on shaky legs and would have fallen had it not been for Klaus holding him up “Oh god, I died.” He knew he was hysterical, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it “Luther killed me.”  
“I’m sorry”  
“You killed me. You… you broke my neck.” He was shaking and hyperventilating, but somehow, he felt disconnected from his body. Numb.  
“It’s okay, you’re fine.” Klaus was talking to him as if he were a scared animal “Come on, let’s go take a bath. Your clothes might be ruined, but I bet we can find something”   
Nathan looked down at himself. He was bloody. Where did the blood come from? “Oh… Right. Yeah.”  
He sat on the toilet, staring off into space, while Klaus filled the tub up with warm water and bubbles  
“Buddy? Come on let’s get in the tub” Nathan let himself be undressed, but before anything other than his blazer came off (And he hadn’t even realized he was still wearing one of Reginald’s suits, the prosthetic company seemed so long ago) Luther entered the bathroom   
“What are you doing here? Get out!” Klaus tried to close the door, but he could do nothing against Luther’s superhuman strength.  
“Look, I just came in here to tell you that we are having a family meeting. About what you told us” Here, he turned to Nathan “It would be very… erm… nice if you came” Without waiting for their response, he left  
“Fuck him if he thinks we are going anywhere”  
Nathan took a deep breath and pushed the numbness to somewhere deep down “No, he’s right. We need to tell the others; they deserve to know. And, well, I was the one who spoke to him, so…”  
For a second. Klaus didn’t respond  
“You don’t owe them anything. They can go fuck themselves.”  
“Klaus, really, it’s okay. Let’s go”  
His twin grumbled, but agreed.  
When they arrived at the sitting room, Diego and Vanya were already there, along with Luther and Allison  
“Where’s Five?” He asked, ignoring the concerned looks everyone sent him, and the confused ones in Vanya and Diego’s faces. It seems no one had told them what had happened  
“Nathan, are you okay?” Vanya helped him sit. God he was tired  
“Yeah, don’t worry. Just a… disagreement with the Big Guy”  
Diego immediately turned to Luther “What did you do to him?” He accused  
“Look, I may have gone a little overboard, but you know Nathan!” He would be offended if he had the energy “He’s fine! And anyway, this isn’t what we wanted to talk to you about.”  
Diego looked like he was going to argue, but his curiosity won out “What is it then?”  
“Dad… Look, there’s no good way of saying this… Dad killed himself”  
“What?!”  
“There’s no way that’s true”  
Nathan stood up shakily “Look, I spoke to him. He told me that himself. He wanted to get us all together so we could stop the apocalypse. Which is why we really need to find Five, he’s the one with the most knowledge about it.”  
Diego and Vanya looked confused “Nathan, are you really okay?”  
“Yeah, why?”  
“You do know you can’t speak to the dead, right?” She asked softly, as if trying not to spook him “That’s Klaus’s power”  
“I saw him in the afterlife.”  
There was a second of silence before Diego connected the dots “The disagreement with Luther… but you never saw the afterlife before. Did you?”  
Nathan shook his head and fell back to the couch “When I died, I was high. Like with Klaus, and I’m pretty sure all of us actually, my powers don’t work when I’m high. I died for real”  
“Luther, what the ever-loving fuck?” Surprisingly, it was Vanya who said this “You killed Nathan? How could you?”  
“He’s immortal!” He defended himself “How was I supposed to know he was high?”  
“He’s always high!”  
“Wait” Diego interrupted “If your powers weren’t working, and Luther killed you, how come you are…” He trailed off  
“God didn’t want the paperwork of everyone dying and she seemed to think you guys couldn’t stop the apocalypse by yourselves”  
“You met God?” Allison asked  
“I think so”  
There was a stunned silence, until Grace came in   
“Would anyone want some snacks?”  
“No, Mom, it’s okay.” Diego stood up and started guiding her out “Look, we are talking about some… private stuff. We can bake cookies after, okay?”  
“Sure” She left with an empty smile  
“Something’s really wrong with Mom” Luther frowned  
“Well, Mom is supposed to be a protector, right?” Vanya hesitated when everyone turned to look at her “If Dad really killed himself, he probably had to mess with her programming so she wouldn’t save him, and it must have messed with other parts as well”  
“That makes sense” Klaus stood up, dragging Nathan up with him “Well, if you’ll excuse us, I need to wash the blood off of my brother. The blood you” He pointed at Luther, who shrank under his gaze “Put there”  
Nathan didn’t really find out what anyone else said to that, because he blinked, and he was back in the bathroom. It seemed he wasn’t as okay as he had thought.  
“Come on, I bet the water’s still warm” Klaus put a hand in the bathtub “Hmm, a bit cold, but it will do. Come on, get in.”  
There was a shadow in the corner “Klaus, do you have ant drugs on you?”  
There was a pause while he checked his pocket “No, I’m sorry. You coming down?”  
“I think so.” The shadow was looking clearer by the second, so he got in the tub and submerged his head under the water, not caring about wetting his underwear  
“Look, it’ll be okay, I’ll bring down my Walkman and you’ll close your eyes. You won’t even notice them”  
“What about you?”  
Klaus fidgeted “I just had some pills, I’ll be fine for a few more hours”  
“Okay…” The shadow looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it  
“I’ll be right back, stay here”   
And then he was alone with the shadow  
“Look, I’m sure you want to scream at me, but I’m really not in the mood, so please, leave me alone.”  
The shadow shuffled a little closer, and he flinched back. It stopped   
“Thanks. I promise you can scream all you want after Klaus gets me those headphones. Jeez, I can’t believe he still uses a Walkman. Well, I’m one to talk, I use an old iPod.”  
It felt strangely familiar talking to the shadow. He felt himself relaxing a little, even as it shuffled closer once again  
God he was tired  
“Hey, wake me up when Klaus gets back, will you?”  
He dreamt of fire and ash. He was trapped under some rubble, but he could still feel the heat.   
He heard a familiar yell in the distance  
“Ben?!” The voice called out “Vanya?!”  
He tried to answer, but before he could he was awoken by someone grabbing him roughly and dragging him out of the bath  
“Hey, what the fuck? Let me go!” He tried to squirm out of who he now saw was a man in a mask’s arm, but he couldn’t seem to. He tried hitting him, but it was like hitting a wall  
“I can’t believe he would mess with the timeline like this” The man muttered  
“What are you talking about, let me go!” The mask turned towards him, as if the man had only just noticed he was dragging a naked Nathan. Before he could do so much as blinked, the man raised a hand and punched him.  
The last thing he saw before passing out was a woman with a similar mask dragging a struggling Klaus behind her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther is the absolute worst, but he tries.


	6. The Man in the Moon, or Nathan suffers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for non graphic torture. I don't go into detail, but just in case.

When Nathan came to, he was duct taped to a chair in a shitty motel room, facing Klaus, who was in the same situation

“Klaus? What’s going on?” He asked  
“Nathan! You’re awake. Thank God.” Klaus looked stressed “We got kidnapped by some guys in masks. They tied us up and left about twenty minutes ago. They haven’t been back yet”

Something moved 

“You guys need to find a way out of here before they come back” No way. It couldn’t be. Had the drugs faded so much already?

“Ben? What are you doing here?”

The ghost looked mildly annoyed, but Nathan noticed that underneath that he was really worried

“Hi Nathan. It’s been a while.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you could see him?!”

They both looked kind of sad. “We tried” Ben explained “By the time you told Klaus you could see ghosts, you were already addicted and couldn’t see me, so we decided not to tell you to spare you the pain of knowing I was there”

“Fuck that! I would have gotten sober! How dare you think, even for a second, that I wouldn’t do that for you?! And you” He turned to Klaus, who looked terrified at having Nathan’s fury directed at him “How dare you leave Ban alone? He could have lost himself like all the others! It’s a miracle he’s even halfway sane, after all these years!”

“I don’t know why, but I could see him, even when I was super high”

Before Nathan could process what that might have meant, the door opened and in came two people in blue suits, wearing creepy kid’s masks

“Look, he’s awake” The female one observed 

“Finally, we can get started”

“Who the fuck are you guys?” Nathan demanded, but was ignored

“You are gonna tell us where Number Five is, and why he brought a past version of you here” The guy said while opening a box full of something they weren’t able to see.

“What? You think I’m a younger version of him?”

“Are you not?” The guy now had what looked like a cattle prod in his hand

“No, you asshole, we’re siblings! Jesus, who goes to time travel without even thinking about that?” Klaus exclaimed

“Obviously, someone who is involved with time travel and expects it” Nathan speculated “You guys have the same suits, so it’s probably a uniform. The Motel room tells me you are  
not from around here, and the big box of weapons, plus the fact that you kidnapped us, says you are not exactly the good guys, or more exactly, you don’t really care about morals. You kidnapped us from inside the house, and the chick’s sleeve is torn and stained with blood. You fought the residents of the house, and you won. You are trained in combat.”

“Interesting” The woman muttered “Anything else you think you know about us?”

“You know Five, who has better social skills than he should having spent 45 years in the apocalypse. So, to recap, you are time traveling assassins who work for an organization Five was part of, and he betrayed you or something, so now you have to kill him. Only problem is, you can’t find him, so you kidnapped us for ransom probably. Did I miss anything?”

“Yeah.” She said “The part where we are going to torture until we find your brother, or he finds us” 

Nathan felt a shock and a burning sensation where the prod touched him “Fucking shit, could you be any more unoriginal?” He spat out “I mean, it’s the most obvious thing you could have done”

For that he received a punch from the woman “Hey, what are your names anyways? I can’t keep thinking of you as Guy and Chick.”

The guy punched him “I’m Hazel. This is my partner Cha-Cha”

Nathan spat out a glob of blood “Nice to meet you. I’m Number Eight.”

In the next few hours, Nathan was punched, kicked, slapped, electrocuted, choked and waterboarded, and yet he spent what seconds of reprieve he had sprouting out whatever he could figure out about the guys, either from observing them, or from the ghosts that were slowly but surely appearing around him.

They mostly left Klaus alone, as they were more concerned with the more threatening of the two, but that didn’t mean they forgot completely about him.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Nathan finally managed to say something that affected the time assassins more deeply

“Hazel, you should just retire, don’t you think? I get it, the job sucks, and not everyone can be as much of a hardass as Cha-Cha”

The man scowled and prodded him with the cattle prod again

“You really are soft. Hey, I would look out for this one” He told Cha-Cha “He likes to spare people on missions, it could come bite you in the ass. Especially with how he fell in love a few days before the Apocalypse” Thank you stalker ghosts “One of these days, he will betray you”

That seemed to be the last straw. They were promptly locked inside a closet while Hazel and Cha-Cha left to do something

“You okay, Klaus?” He asked once he was sure they were alone.

Klaus had been spacing out more and more and had started to shiver and sweat. Nathan also felt like shit, but the adrenaline distracted him. Besides, being painfully killed regularly for 14 years skewed one’s perception of pain a bit.

“I’m… I think I’m going through withdrawal.”

“Oh no, you definitely are” Ben didn’t fit in the closet, so he had to stick his head through the door.

“Funny, I didn’t remember you being such an asshole.”

“You try living with only Klaus for company and we’ll see how nice you end up.” He rolled his eyes “Do you have any idea what it’s like to see him throw away his life in front of me? That’s the real torture”

Klaus whimpered, and had Nathan not been tied up, he would have punched a ghost

“How dare you?”

“How dare I? How dare you? You are immortal, you should have done something to save me so I wouldn't have to see this shit!"

Silence

“Oh. That’s what this is about then.”

“Ben-

“No, no. He’s right Klaus. I should have… what, exactly? Fought the Horror myself? Kept you from losing control? How, exactly? I’m not really a match for an interdimensional monster!”

“You could have at least tried!”

“What do you want me to say? I froze! I saw her and remembered all the times Dad forced you to tear me apart, and I couldn’t move! Is that it? You want me to admit I’m weak?!  
Guess what! I’m a weak, selfish piece of shit and I’ve always been! You should just get used to it”

“Guys! Klaus interrupted “Someone’s here. I think it’s the cleaning lady”

“Thank fuck. Lady!” Nathan called out “Help!”

“Please, we’re in the closet!” 

But she didn’t hear. The door closed, and their hopes of a rescue left with her.

“Fuck” Klaus’s groan bordered on a sob “We are stuck here. I’m gonna die here, and you’ll never escape”

“It’s not so bad” Nathan whispered “Dying. It hurts in the moment, but after… It’s like being asleep in a bed made of clouds. Nothing hurts, there are no worries.” He took a shuddering breath “You would like it. It’s nice.”

Klaus didn’t answer. 

“Nathan…” Ben started but was interrupted when they heard a noise in the room.

It was them.

The closet door opened, leaving them with the strange visual of Ben’s face in Cha-Cha’s chest.  
Nathan giggled, and was surprised by how unhinged it made him sound. He should giggle more often.

“Hi, I missed you guys” He teased, earning himself an electrocution. It seemed like they really liked electricity “Don’t worry, you don’t have to say it back”

“I did some research” Cha-Cha said while she dragged their chairs out to the main space. God she was strong “Turns out there’s a lot of information about you two if you know where to look”

“Oh boy, you found Vanya’s book, didn’t you? That doesn’t take a lot of effort”

“Talk all you want; I know your weaknesses. You are immortal, aren’t you?” She took out of the box of hell a chainsaw “I think you might be my favorite target yet”

Then the real torture began

By the time they stopped, Nathan had no idea how long they had been there. After the third death, he gave up trying to pretend he wasn’t affected. He gave up trying to contain his screams.

He was really sorry for Klaus, who had to see everything. It really wasn’t pretty.  
But finally, they left once again. Luckily, they didn’t lock them inside the closet this time.  
Nathan passed out before the door closed.

He came to when someone tore away the tape holding him up. He almost fell, but whoever had freed him caught him. 

It was a woman, young, but not too young. About his age, if he had aged normally. She was pretty.

“Who-“ His voice broke

“I’m Eudora Patch, I know your brother Diego. I already took Klaus to my car; we have to leave before they come back”

Was she a cop? She looked like a cop. Weird, Diego never mentioned a cop friend.  
Well, he hadn’t spoken with him much. 

“We have to leave” The woman, Eudora, insisted

When he tried to stand, he stumbled, but luckily, she was there again. They started making their way to the door, slowly, but surely.  
They should have been faster. 

Cha-Cha appeared, holding a gun.  
Before he could think about how stupid his idea was, Nathan leapt at her, knocking it out of her hand.  
She tried to punch him, but he dodged, his old instincts taking over.  
Internally, he was panicking. What the fuck was he doing? He hadn’t been in a proper fight in years, there was no way he could win.  
But he didn’t need to win. As soon as he stepped back from a kick, two shots rang through the room. The cop, Eudora, had a gun on her hands and Cha-Cha had a red spot on her side. She ran off, limping. For some reason, Eudora didn’t follow.

Nathan staggered back, warmth blooming between his ribs “Ouchie” He fell, his legs not working properly anymore.  
There were dark spots dancing across his vision

“Oh god, are you okay?” The cop fell to her knees next to her

“Don’t worry” He winced as she put pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding “Hey, you are a friend of Diego’s, right?”

“Yeah, but please, save your strength”

“Do you know about the academy?” She nodded. God, she was so good at keeping her cool “I’m Eight, the immortal one” He managed to gasp out “Just let me die”

“Sure, but not here. I think she had a partner, and I don’t wanna be here when they arrive”

“Okay”

The next few minutes were a painful and awkward new experience for Nathan. The bullet wasn’t close enough to anything important to kill him instantly, so they had to find a way of taking him to the car without being too suspicious. He ended up being propped up against Eudora, who had asked to be called Patch, trying to stand as upright as he could. He ended up looking like a very drunk guy leaning against a buddy.

God she was strong

When they arrived at the car, Klaus immediately sprung out of his seat, helping lay Nathan across the back.

“What happened? I heard gunshots” He asked once they were safely inside the car, and on their way.

“The lady shot your brother. Don’t worry, he’s going to be alright”

“I know, I just…”

Nathan didn’t manage to hear the end of the conversation because he passed out.

He was walking next to Five, trying not to trip on the rubble. They were dragging a small wagon filled with whatever they could find. There was a mannequin’s top half.

“Nathan?”

“Yeah buddy?”

A second of silence while Five thought about his next words “I’m glad you’re here”

“…Me too buddy, me too”

He blinked, and they were in a demolished library. Five looked older. Nathan did not.

“It’s been ten years since I arrived here” Five said, taking a sip from a cup filled with wine “I don’t think you are going to find any drugs that still work”

Nathan froze “What makes you think I want them?”

“I know you want to die. Don’t lie to me” 

“Fuck off, you don’t know shit” Nathan stormed off. They didn’t see each other for the next ten years

He was in the same library. “Five, do you take Dolores as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do”

“Dolores, do you take Five as your lawfully wedded husband?” He asked the mannequin

It didn’t answer, but they knew what she had to say anyways “I now pronounce you man and wife”

They kissed

Five looked old. Really old. He was cursing his joints when suddenly, he pointer his shotgun at something. 

It was a woman. A real life, living woman. And she made a very tempting offer.

Nathan woke up. 

He was in his bed in the Academy. Surprisingly, the room wasn’t dusty, even after all those years. Grace must have kept it clean.  
He heard shouting coming from downstairs 

“I WAS FINE DIEGO”

“YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED FOR ME”

It was Diego and Patch. What were they arguing about?  
He would have asked them himself, but he was really tired. Besides, there was something more important he had to do.

He had to find Five.

The fucker owed him an explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you have it. Nathan did survive Vanya's little temper tantrum.  
> This chapter is a bit short, but the next one is so fucking long. I think it's like 15 pages or something.


	7. Number Five, or Nathan is not having a good day, week or even year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very Big Boy. Trigger warning for the Handler being creepy.  
> There is a lot of exposition in this chapter, sorry

Five ended up being at Diego’s with Luther, for some fucking reason. By the time Nathan found him, he had been looking for more than an hour, and he was about to explode. The handless man screaming at him certainly wasn’t helping his mood.  
Before he stormed into the boiler room of the gym, he put his ear to the door, trying to hear what they were talking about

Five was talking about the Handler

He burst in “You fucking asshole!” 

They jumped

“Nathan? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to kill that little bitch!” 

Five paled, but pretended to be aloof “I have no idea what you are talking about”

“Oh, you do. Remember when you told me you didn’t find me or my body in the apocalypse? Newsflash, asshole” His voice was a bit too high and a bit too shaky “I remember! Your fucking plan to bring us home did not fucking fail, even if you wanted it to”

Poor Luther was looking so confused

“If you really remember then you must know why I didn’t tell you”

Nathan giggled “That’s a shitty excuse and you know it!”

Before he could launch himself at his brother, Luther stepped in between them “What are you two talking about?”

“I survived the motherfucking apocalypse and found this little asshole when he time traveled to it! I was with him when we traveled back! I lost my memory, turns out he was right about the equations being fucked up, but he lied to me!”

“I thought I didn’t manage to take you with me after all. Why would I tell you who you would never be?” Five looked sad. Oh boy, Five looked sad. An alarm went off in Nathan’s mind Abort, abort, Five is sad!

“Look…” He sighed “I get why you wouldn’t tell me,” He didn’t, but a sad Five was the worst “but I deserved to know. I could have found a way of… I dunno, I could have done something.”

“Wait, you were with Five?” Luther interrupted

“Yeah”

“All the time?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Did you” Here, he lowered his voice like he was ten and about to say a bad word “Kill people too?”

Nathan rolled his eyes “God, Luther, grow up. We killed people in the academy”

“Only bad people!”

“Oh yeah, because stealing something is a reason to get killed by kids! Face it, Luther, you don’t get to act all high and mighty, especially not when it was the only way for us to come back”

“There is always another option”

“Not before Five died of old age!” Nathan took a deep breath. Too many emotions, he had to calm down “We spent 45 years there Luther. We were starting to run out of time. I may be immortal, but Five wasn’t. Isn’t”

“Oh.”

Silence 

“What now?”

Before anyone could answer, Diego burst in, lunging at Five.  
Some old instinct must have activated, because before he could think, Nathan had flipped and pinned the man against the floor

“Get off me” He grunted

“Not until you tell me why you want to attack Five”

“It’s his fault you and Klaus were taken. They wanted him! Patch could have been hurt!”

“But she wasn’t. Besides, if anyone has the right to be angry at Five, it’s Klaus.” Nathan frowned “Where is Klaus, anyway?”

“He’s at home, being treated by Mom.” Diego sighed “Look, could you get off me? I promise I won’t attack him.”

Slowly, as to stop any more lunges, Nathan stood up

“Thank you” Diego rolled his eyes “Five, who were those guys? They attacked the house and were involved in a few shootouts a few days ago. What do they want with you?

“They are former colleagues” Nathan interjected before Five could answer “We used to work with them.”

“What? How do you know”

“Diego, Nathan survived the Apocalypse. Everything I went through; he went through it with me. He just didn’t remember until a few hours ago.”  
Five sounded defeated 

“What are they?”

“Assassins. The best of the best. They travel through time solving any anomalies that might endanger the timeline.” Five explained “They want to make sure the Apocalypse still happens”

“And you two worked for those guys?”

“With those guys. And believe me, if we had any other choice, we would have taken it” Nathan’s memories of his time at the end of times might be fuzzy and not yet settled in his mind, but he was sure of that at least. That might be the only thing he was really sure about.  
A phone rang in the distance

“Diego!” A voice called “A lady here wants to talk to you!”

He growled and stood up “I’ll be right back. This conversation isn’t over”

And with that, he left.

“So, let me get this straight” Luther started “You guys were together in the Apocalypse, and when you went around killing people. Then, Five came back and you… What? You got left behind?”

“Not really.” Nathan plopped down in the bed. God, he was tired “I went back too, but there can’t be two of the same things at the same time. It would create a paradox, so only my consciousness got through. My… corpse, I guess, would still be there.”

“Then why didn’t you remember?”

“The shock of the memories was probably too much. His brain couldn’t handle it, so it just locked them away until it could. Which apparently took a few deaths” Five wasn’t looking at him “Telling him about it would make him try to remember. Forcing it before you were ready could have caused irreparable damage to his mind”

Oh. Well, he couldn’t be angry with that, could he?

The door opened “Klaus is gone”

Nathan’s blood froze in his veins “What?” He managed to choke out “Is he…” He couldn’t even think about it

“He vanished! Patch says one second he was there, and then she blinked, and he wasn’t there anymore!” 

Oh, thank the little girl God.

“What do you mean he vanished?” Nathan stood up and grabbed his brother’s shoulders, shaking him a little “How can he vanish?”

“Sh-she said there was a flash of blue light, that’s all I know” He let him go

He looked at Five and saw him thinking the same thing “Could it be a suitcase?”

“Did you see theirs while you were captured?”

Nathan thought back at the hotel room “Not really. Maybe it was hidden, and he managed to find it?”

“Maybe. Do you remember if he had it in the car?”

“I was a little busy dying” Five almost looked guilty.

“Excuse me, what are you talking about?” Luther tried to lay a hand on Nathan’s shoulder, but he sidestepped “What suitcase? What happened to Klaus?”

“I’m not sure. We will tell you when we have the facts” Five stood up “It will be useless to tell you something we aren’t sure of”

“So, what do we do now?”

“We should go back to the academy. I want to know if Patch can tell us what happened in more detail”

“Hey, since when do you know Eudora?”

“We bonded when she rescued me from Hazel and Cha-Cha” Nathan followed Five out of the boiler room. “Five, wait up!”

As they arrived at the Academy, Nathan tried not to think about everything he now remembered. Shit, he was never going to age, was he? It hadn’t slowed, it stopped. Fuck. Kelly and Simon were going to grow old together and he was going to stay young forever. He should get some X and always keep it on his pocket, just in case. He knew how hard it was finding drugs sometimes. A woman screamed his name and tried to grab his shoulder.  
He almost threw himself off the car in his haste to get away from her.

Patch was pacing in the sitting room when they found her “Diego, Nathan, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened”

He could tell Diego was about to say something sappy, so he interrupted “Look, it’s okay. We are just here to ask you a few questions. We just want to know what happened”

“There’s not much more to tell. He was fiddling with a suitcase, I turned around to grab something, and when I turned back around, he was gone.” She was really keeping her cool, Nathan was impressed. And it could be hard to impress him.

Then he realized what she was saying “God fucking damnit, it was a suitcase. He could be anywhere, anytime! We don’t have enough time to find him! Even if we did, we have no way of doing that!” He started pacing “I might never see Klaus again! I probably won’t see Klaus ever again!”

“Nathan, calm down” Patch grabbed his arm. Her hand was warm “Klaus will be fine. He’s strong, he’ll come back”

“But…what if he can’t?” He hated how small and vulnerable his voice sounded

“He will” Her eyes shone with fiery determination

“Promise?”

“Okay!” Diego exclaimed, a little too loudly. With a start, Nathan realized he was really close to Patch “No more romancing my ex! Nathan, I know you fall in love with anything with two legs and a last name other than Hargreeves, but we need to concentrate buddy”

“Diego! Nathan is not in love with me!”

“No, I totally am, but like my dear old brother said, I’ve fallen in love with basically everyone I’ve ever met, so don’t take it personally.” Nathan shrugged, unbothered “I’ve kissed all of my best friends”

“Oh” Patch paused “Look, I’m flattered, but you look a bit too young for me, and you are Diego’s brother and-

“Say no more! No interest from me!” He held his hands up “Besides, we really need to focus on Five and the Apocalypse” He extended his hand “Platonic friends?”

She looked hesitant, but took his hand “Platonic friends”

“Look, it’s sweet how you pretend you are well adjusted enough to actually have a normal relationship with anybody” Said the kettle to the pot “but I really can’t focus on your bullshit melodrama, so are we going or what?”

Nathan grimaced. “Look Five, if Klaus can figure out how to come back, he will most likely appear here. Someone needs to stay here and wait for him”

“Cool, so we agree the Detective isn’t coming with us”

“Five… what’s your plan here? We have no idea what’s going on!”

“I narrowed down who could be the cause of the apocalypse to four people! We just need to kill them, and everything will be fine!” Five looked way too nervous and anxious.

“I… I can’t leave him. What if he comes back and he’s hurt? If no one’s here…”

Before Nathan could finish, there was a bright blue flash. When it died down, they could see Klaus sitting in the bed, clutching the briefcase like it was a lifeline.

“Well, that solves the issue” He heard Five mutter

Klaus screamed. It wasn’t born out of fear or pain, but out of a deep grief. He threw the briefcase out of the window. They heard an explosion three stories down.  
Nathan was going to berate Klaus for destroying something that could be useful, but he saw his brother’s face. He was crying.

“Klaus! Are you okay?” A protective feeling surged from deep within him, where he had buried it years ago, the same protective feeling that had made it unbearable to live with Klaus. He ran the few steps separating them and hugged him “Oh, I’m so glad you are back, I was so worried! What happened?”

Klaus sniffled “I don’t want to talk about it”

“Understandable.” He frowned, noticing the changes in his brother. Mostly the blood. “Come on, we need to clean you up. Are you hurt anywhere?”

He shook his head and followed him to the bathroom. 

As soon as his body was submerged in hot water, Klaus started looking a lot more present. Sadly, that meant he could pay more attention to the ghosts, who were particularly excited about their two favorite humans being together and somewhat sober.

“Nathan!” Five called out from behind the closed bathroom door “We need to go!”

He sighed “Are you gonna be okay for a few minutes? I need to speak to Five about something”

Seeing as how Klaus nodded, he exited the bathroom, leaving the door a smidge open, just in case

“Five, I need to take care of Klaus. Besides, you narrowed it down to four, we need to be a bit more specific. What if killing the wrong person fucks up the timeline even more? I mean, remember Constantinople?”

He knew he had convinced his brother when his frown turned more determined than angry “Istanbul” He corrected automatically. Five sighed “I hate it when you’re right.” He turned around “You have until I figure out who we need to kill to coddle Klaus. After that, you come with me”

“I know. I wouldn’t leave you alone with this, I just need a little time. And I think you need it too.”

He entered the bathroom again without waiting for an answer.

“Klaus, in a little bit I’m gonna have to leave you”

“I know. It’s okay”

Nathan frowned “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s important, I get it. Go save the world” 

Nathan frowned. There was no way he was going to leave him alone when he was like this. That was probably the main difference between them. When Nathan was hurt, he retreated to be on his own. Klaus reached out to be comforted.

“Diego!” He called

After a few seconds, the door opened “Yeah?” He looked at Klaus with worry

“I need you and Patch to take care of Klaus. “

Diego frowned “Why can’t you do it?”

“I’m busy helping Five. Look, I really don’t want to leave my brother in his time of need to go galivant around, but it’s important.”

“Okay. But you owe me one” 

There was a knock on the door “Nathan” It was Five “It’s time”

He looked at Klaus guiltily “Look, if you want me to stay, I will. I’ll tell Five to fuck off, I swear”

“No, no” He sighed “It’s fine. I wanted some time alone to process anyway.”

“Okay, but only if you are really sure” Seeing as Klaus nodded, he stood up from his place beside the tub “You have my number. Call me. Even if you are just a little bored, I will pick up”

He knew from his brother’s face that he would not receive a call, but he opened the door. Five had a grim look on his face “Come on, I’ll tell you what we need to do in my room”

“So, who do we have to kill? And what do we do about the Commission? Patch might have shot Cha-Cha, but I’m pretty sure that only made her angry” He looked at the equations covering the walls. He traced the familiar writing. He had seen those same numbers hundreds of times; how could this time be any different? How could he get an answer now, when back in the apocalypse there was none?

“I sent a message saying we have the briefcase”

“WHAT? WHY?” 

“They lost it. That’s number one in the What Not to Do manual. They won’t want the higher ups knowing about it”

Nathan sat in the bed “And what do you want from them?”

“Leverage. Just in case”

Before he could ask what the fuck that meant, Luther entered the room “What is all this?”

“A map of probability”

Seeing as how Luther didn’t look any less confused, Nathan decided to explain “Five uses it to see what would happen if he did something. In this case, we want to find out how to stop the apocalypse”

“I narrowed down to four” He pointed at a small list of names circled in chalk

“And one of these will cause the apocalypse?”

Nathan grimaced “Their deaths would stop it. Time is weird, the tiniest change can cause massive events to happen, or avoid them altogether” Luther still looked confused “You know, like the butterfly effect” 

“Oh, right, I get it”

“So” Five continued as if no one had interrupted “All we have to do is find the person with the highest probability of impacting the timeline and kill them” He jumped off the bed to grab something

“Milton Greene” Luther read “Who is he?”

“Hmm, let me see” Nathan got closer to the wall “A gardener, I think”

Luther looked alarmed “You can’t be serious. I mean, from Five I understand, but you are okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Their deaths could save the world. I’ve killed people for less. I’m pretty sure you’ve killed people for less”

Luther looked offended “Not innocents!”

“Would it help if I told you Greene watched child porn in his free time?”

“Is it true?”

“No fucking clue, but if it calms you down to think it is, maybe you should.”

Five hauled something long to the bed. If Nathan had to guess, he would say it was probably a shotgun

“Where did you get that?”

“Dad’s room” He opened the zipper, showing a vaguely familiar weapon

“Didn’t he use that to shoot that rhino?” 

“I think so. It’s similar to the model I used at work. Nice shoulder fit and highly reliable”

Luther was looking more terrified by the second “This guy is innocent! You can’t just… kill him! It’s wrong!”

“It’s basic math! His death might potentially save billions! Besides, he’ll be dead in four days otherwise”

Nathan took pity on his brother “Look, you know us. Do you really think we would do this if there was any other way? Do you think us that cruel?”

“Well, you were never exactly a nice person, even before spending 45 years all by yourselves!”

The only reason Nathan didn’t immediately deck him was that he was pretty sure he would break his hand “Luther.” He said in as firm a tone as he could manage “This isn’t about us. This isn’t about morals, or about you thinking I’m the Antichrist. This is about saving the world. For once in your life, you need to trust us”

For a second, he looked convinced. “No. We don’t kill innocents, even if it does save lives”

He could tell Five was frustrated “Then we have nothing to talk about anymore” He turned around and started leaving

Nathan tried to do the same, but a hand around his throat stopped him. He got lurched back, and the floor dropped out from underneath his feet. He looked down. Luther was dangling him out the window.

He might have started hyperventilating. He blinked, and suddenly he wasn’t on Five’s room anymore, he was in the basement, looking at the security tapes. There was pressure in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. Oh god, he was going to die and this time he wouldn’t come back. Luther was going to kill him for real.

He dropped but was caught by a tiny hand.

He wasn’t in the basement anymore.

“What were you thinking?!” Five yelled after Nathan managed to climb inside once more. He collapsed in a heap, boneless.

“Nathan is sober, he wouldn’t have been hurt. I made sure this time” Luther had the gun in his hands “I can keep doing this all day”

“There is another way.” Five admitted, more shaken than he would ever admit “But it is so unlikely to work, I didn’t even count it”

“More impossible that what brought you back here?”

They stopped the car next to a petrol station in the middle of nowhere. For a moment, there was silence.

Five sighed “You know, I never enjoyed it. I took pride in it, I was good, but…” He had never heard his brother admit it so openly. “I think it was all those years almost alone. Nathan was there most of the time, but still… Solitude can do funny things to the mind” 

“Yeah, well you were gone for such a long time” Luther grumbled “I only spent four years on the moon, but that was more than enough. It’s the being alone that breaks you”

Oh. He hadn’t realized. Luther had been alone too. Maybe not as long, but he had no one. Even if Nathan and Five used to part ways for years at a time, and it had been hard, that didn't mean Luther's stay in the moon was... what, pathetic? Why hadn't he realized his brother was also hurting? He blamed it on his absolutely abysmal social skills

“Luther…” Nathan had no idea what to say “I’m sorry I left. When Ben died, I should have stayed. You were all grieving, and I…”

“No, don’t be.” Luther interrupted “If there is one thing I can fault Dad for, it was his treatment of you. He… It was killing you, being there. Maybe not in a physical sense, but still. You had to leave”

Wow. His brother was surprising him. He managed to turn his sob into a cough halfway through.

For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence “Do you think they’ll buy it?”

“Well” Five started “What I do know is that they’re desperate. They’ll do anything to keep the Commission from finding out they lost it”

“And they will be stuck here until they get it back”

“I should hold on to it” At their questioning faces, Luther elaborated “In case they make a move on one of you guys”

“Okay, Luther, but be careful. I mean, we lived a long life and Nathan is immortal”

“Yeah. You are still young, don’t throw your life away without reason, okay?”

A car approached “They’re here” 

They got out of the car. Luther stayed next to it, but Five and Nathan went to meet the assassins in the middle.

“Are the masks necessary?” Nathan called out “I mean, I’m pretty sure we bonded. Don’t go back to being strangers!” He tried to hide how his hands were shaking by putting them in his pockets. If he thought the Academy had a lot of ghosts, it was nothing compared to how many were hanging around Hazel and Cha-Cha. It certainly didn’t help that they were loud.

They took off their masks. Cha-Cha looked angry. Hazel just looked like he didn’t want to be there.

“So where is it kid?” Cha-Cha asked

“Are you really gonna start like that?” Don’t think about the ghosts, don’t think about the ghosts.

Five must have realized he was looking distracted, because he took over the conversation. 

He didn’t hear what they said next, trying hard to appear unaffected and as intimidating as he could. 

Cha-Cha took out a gun. A dead child screamed. Their head was caved in. How can someone scream without a mouth?

“I need you to get in contact with your superior so Nathan and I can have a chat with her” That he heard. “Face to face”

He would have done something about it, but before he could that same child swiped at him. 

Right. Focus. Show a united front, don’t let them know you have no idea what’s going on.

“About what?”

Yeah, about what?

“Well, I don’t believe that’s any of your concern”

That secretive little shit. Of course, he wouldn’t tell them. He hadn’t even told Nathan!

Cha-Cha shook her head. “Just don’t tell her about the briefcase”

“Fair enough”

Five grabbed him by the arm. He hadn’t noticed they were done talking.

“Nathan, you need to focus!” He muttered angrily “What is going on with you?”

“Five, shut up” He managed to mutter out “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m sober, and they are not exactly free of violent ghosts, are they? To be fair, neither are we, but that only makes it worse”

“How did you manage during the apocalypse?” Oh right, Luther was there

“Whatever killed everyone on earth also somehow got rid of all the ghosts. And when we were on the commission, well… Drugs are much easier to come by when you include them in your expense reports”

“Oh” Luther paused, and the screams of the dead grew in volume “What happens now?”

“Now” Five sat on the hood of their car “we wait.”

Nathan curled up in a ball. This was going to be a tough couple of hours.

But he didn’t have to worry. 

He heard the soft chimes of an ice cream truck in the distance. It was playing the Ride of the Valkyries. 

What? What was an ice cream truck doing in the middle of nowhere?

There were a few seconds of silence, both sides thinking that this might be a trap. 

Then, the truck passed by. Oh god, Klaus was driving. Ben was looking absolutely thrilled, while Diego and Patch looked terrified. They were clutching at each other. 

Well, there went his chances with Patch. 

“The hell is he doing here?” He heard Five mutter. 

But his attention was on someone else “It’s a setup!”

Then the gunfire started. And everything froze.

Silence.

Sweet, blessed silence.

“Neat trick, isn’t it?” The Handler had arrived. “Hello Five, Nathan. You look good, all things considered”

“It’s good to see you again” 

“Is it?” Nathan muttered. No one heard him

“Feels like we met just yesterday. Of course, you were a little bit older then. Well, not you Nathan. You look exactly the same. Congratulations.” He had forgotten how creepy she was “You two achieved what humanity has been trying to do for centuries. You managed to avoid growing old.”

“I wish I could take credit. I just miscalculated the time dilation projections and… Well, you know. Here I am”

“What about you?” 

Nathan had gotten distracted looking at a frozen Russian woman. She seemed fine, how had she died? “What? Oh, I got hit by lighting. Really weird, it was a whole… thing” It was probably poison, even if it didn’t seem like Hazel and Cha-Cha’s MO.

The Handler looked amused for a few seconds before her expression shifted “You do realize your efforts are futile? So why don’t you tell me what you really want?”

“We want you to put a stop to it”

Well, that would never happen. It seems it had all been a waste of time. 

“You realize that’s next to impossible, even for me. What’s meant to be is meant to be”

“What if it isn’t?” Nathan interrupted

“I have no idea what you mean” She looked as close to angry as she could “Now shut up and let the adults talk. As I was saying, that’s our raison d’etre”

Five took out a gun. What the fuck was he going to accomplish with a gun?

“How about survival as a raison?”

“I’ll just be replaced. I’m but a… small cog in a machine”

“That’s sad” Nathan blurted out

“Oh? How so?” They turned to look at him. He started circling them.

“Well… surely you were a person once. There must be some of that humanity somewhere. And, if there is one thing I learnt, is that people don’t like to do things for the greater good. There has to be a selfish reason somewhere. I mean, take Cha-Cha” She pointed at the woman frozen in mid air “She does this job because she really likes killing people. Grade A psychopath. Hazel likes travelling to new places and meeting interesting people. We wanted to get out of that godforsaken wasteland. None of us did what we did because we believed in a very vague cause. We all have selfish reasons” He stopped, his face inches apart from the Handler’s “What is yours?”

“We are not here to talk about motivations” Five exclaimed, but he was shushed by his brother

“If you want to know my theory, you like power. And you like flaunting it”

“That is not a very imaginative theory. Most people like power” She seemed unaffected “But, alas, my only motivation is doing what’s meant to be done”

“A part of it, definitely. My memories might be fuzzy, but I am sure that’s not all. Is it collecting stuff? No, that’s not it either.” He stepped away “You might be a cog in the machine, but I don’t believe for one second you do it because you just like the Commission that much”

“Well, that was an exercise in pointlessness” Five muttered

“Au contraire. I now know Nathan’s memories are not quite there. And I know you can’t read me as well as you would like to. And I know that this idea of gathering up your family and stopping the end of the world is but a fantasy. I must say though, we are all quite impressed with your initiative. You are quite… quite something.” She was getting really close to Five “Which is why we would like to offer you two a new position in the Commission. In management” 

Five’s eyes shone with a light that usually meant he had a plan, so Nathan decided to shut up for now

“Sorry, what’s that now?”

“Come back to work for us again. You know it’s where you belong. Where you two belong” She added as an afterthought.

“Well, it didn’t work out too well last time”

“Oh, but you wouldn’t be in the correction division any longer. I’m talking about the home office” She was sounding a bit too eager, but it might have been just a manipulation technique “You’d have the best health and pension, and an end to this ceaseless travel! You are a distinguished professional in… In schoolboy shorts” She was a bit too upset about that. And it didn’t look like manipulation. “We have the technology to reverse the process. I mean” She lowered Five’s gun “You can’t be happy like this”

“I’m not looking for happy” Five’s voice was a bit choked up. He wasn’t sure it was an act anymore

The Handler took a deep breath and stroked Five’s cheek “We are all looking for happy. We can make that happen”

Oh. So that was what she wanted. 

“We can make you… Yourself again” 

Had anyone bothered to look at Nathan, they would have seen a shark smile stretching across his face. 

“What about my family? I want them to survive” 

“All of them?” She asked with disdain. Well, to be fair, they weren’t exactly making the best first impression. 

“Yes, all of them”

“Well” She put her sunglasses back on “I’ll see what I can do. Do we have a deal?”

“Wait” Nathan called out before they shook hands “Would I be in management too?”

“Well, it is a pity to not put your… skills to use. But we can’t exactly break up the dream team, can we?”

“You should” Five looked somewhat confused and a bit angry. It seemed like he hadn’t planned for that “I mean, as long as you get me some weed once in a while, I am one of the best. And I’m not interested in seeing the big picture like my bro here. I would be better as a field agent” The Handler looked like she was going to deny his request “Besides, I think I need to be away from Five for a while. Leave him on his own for a bit, don’t you think? Let him make other relationships” 

Her expression seemed to light up just a little, but enough for Nathan, who was looking for it, to notice. “Yes, I suppose you would be better in the field. If Five agrees, it would be fine”

Nathan gave his brother a pointed look. For a second, it looked like he was going to argue. “Of course. Nathan is his own person; he can make decisions alone. The only condition I have is that he is the agent that carries out my orders”

“We can arrange that.” She extended her hand once more “Deal?”

Nathan knocked the bullet heading for Luther out of the air and Five threw away Hazel’s gun “Deal”

A few kilometers away, Vanya got first chair and told her boyfriend, Leonard, about it. The pages of a book fluttered by themselves. 

Back at the Academy, Pogo was rebooting Grace

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Yes.”

“And you understand that the children can never know?” 

Grace was silent for a second. What she had heard…

“Grace?”

Determination stoned her features. She couldn’t protect her children when they were kids, but she would, starting now “I understand” She lied

“Good”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably take a while, as I didn't write it yet.


End file.
